Picture it. You are settled into your seat in a Broadway theater, the room abuzz, the energy is one of great expectation. You are at a "highly anticipated" new musical, written by an accomplished team. You are sure you'll be among the first to discover the newest smash hit. The lights dim, the orchestra starts as the curtain rises. You get goose bumps, hold your breath and lean forward. The opening number is everything you had hoped it would be. And then the rest of the show happened...
Over the years, this has happened to me several times. I'll admit that there are very few shows that I absolutely find nonredeemable, and sometimes it's the opening number that is my only really positive take away.
"Hit Songs" From Broadway Misfires:
Promising Opening Numbers
The three shows represented below are all ones which were clearly "misfires," but I truly enjoyed each of them all the way through. That said, each of their curtain raisers were way up there in my list of what I loved about each. They deserve to be "hit songs."
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Anne Marie Bobby and Jodi Benson in Smile |
"Typical High School Senior" from Smile Music by Marvin Hamlisch Lyrics by Howard Ashman
Sung by The Pageant Contestants
Favorite Lyrics:
SHE'S A TYPICAL HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR
SHE IS THOUGHTFUL AND BRIGHT AND CLEAN
SHE IS CARING AND KIND
SHE READS BOOKS TO THE BLIND
SHE'S NO OLDER THAN SEVENTEEN
AND SHE USUALLY WORKS ON YEARBOOK
WHILE MAINTAINING A THREE POINT O
SHE'S ATTRACTIVE AND SMART,
WITH AN OUTGOING HEART
AND A VISIBLE YOUTHFUL GLOW
SHE IS EAGER TO PLEASE,
YES IN SUMMARY SHE'S
THE MOST TYPICAL GIRL YOU KNOW
SHE'S A MEMBER OF STUDENT COUNCIL
SHE'S A MEMBER OF F.T.A.
AND YA CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL
IN A MONTH OR TWO SHE'LL
GET THE LEAD IN THE SENIOR PLAY.
JUST A TYPICAL HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR
IN THE LAND OF THE BRAVE AND FREE
AND YOU'LL KNOW HER AS SOON AS YOU'VE SEEN HER
SHE'S SORT OF A LOT LIKE ME
JUST A TYPICAL HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR
WHO PUTS RUM IN HER COKES
AND FREQUENTLY SMOKES
BUT NOT IN FRONT OF HER FOLKS
LIKE ME
AND SHE'S GOIN' TO SANTA ROSA,
WHERE THEY GATHER TO PICK THE BEST
YES, SHE'S GOIN' TO SANTA ROSA
TO COMPETE AGAINST THE WHOLE DARN WEST
WHEN I GET THERE TO SANTA ROSA
GONNA GIVE 'EM A GREAT BIG GRIN
GONNA GIGGLE AND POSE
GONNA SHOW OFF M'CLOTHES
GONNA TRY AND WHO KNOWS?
I MIGHT WIN.
Why It Should Be a "Hit Song":
Catchy. Check. Builds to a thrilling conclusion. Check. What sets it apart? I love the duality of meaning here. It starts with a list of exemplary "All-American Girl" qualities - what society expects, and what pageant contestants throughout history have been trained to exude. But really, can anyone live up to that impossible standard? Of course not. Just look at the penultimate stanza above. While it gets a laugh from the audience, it is also the most honest. And even though they immediately go back the big smiles and cheesy expected promises, we now know that these girls have more to them beneath those pageant sashes.
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The Freaks from the 2014 revival of Side Show |
"Come Look at the Freaks" from Side Show Music by Henry Krieger Lyrics by Bill Russell
Sung by The Boss and the Attractions
Favorite Lyrics:
Come look at the freaks
Come gape at the geeks
Come examine these aberrations
Their malformations
Grotesque physiques
Only pennies for peeks
Come look at the freaks
Come look at the freaks
They'll haunt you for weeks
Come explore why they fascinate you
Exasperate you
And flush your cheeks
Come hear how love speaks
Come look at the freaks
Why It Should Be a "Hit Song":
It is creepy, seductive, and completely fascinating. In the original production, the cast sat on a large set of bleachers in street clothes staring at us, and in maddeningly calm, breathy tones dared us to look for more. Slowly, these every day people like us transformed into side show attractions. The message is clear: these freaks are us. They just look different.
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Aaron Tveit & Company in Catch Me If You Can |
"Live in Living Color" from Catch Me If You Can Music by Marc Shaiman Lyrics by Marc Shaiman & Scott Wittman
Sung by Frank Jr. and Company
Favorite Lyrics:
I've got a story that's strange but true
So come fly with me for a bird's-eye view
I've got the world at my command
And I'll be your one-man Disneyland
Don't wanna wait for the cops arrive
I wanna tell my story,
Live and in living color (live in living color)
Tune me in and turn me on
Yes I'm live in living color
Blink your eyes and I'll be gone
Yes I'm live in living color
Tune me in and turn me on
Yes I'm live in living color
Blink your eyes
Blink your eyes
And I'll be gone!
Why It Should Be a "Hit Song":
This is perhaps the most "typical" Broadway opening number, staging-wise. Big and splashy, chorus guys and gals dancing their asses off, and a grand introduction of the main character. But it also nails the time period of the piece and the TV variety show concept. And those lyrics really tell us the whole story - no surprises here. Many of us came in knowing how it ends. But they let us know that it is the journey, not the outcome that makes this story. (Aaron Tveit didn't hurt, either.)
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