The Broadway Bowl: Baltimore vs San Francisco

Well, sports fans, today is the Big Game (copyright rules forbid my use of the term "Super Bowl" which refers to the NFL Championship Game).  This year's 47th outing pits Baltimore against San Francisco.  OK, so I know almost nothing about football, so forgive any, uh, fumbles in this blog...

If Broadway was the NFL Championship Game, which team would win?  Baltimore or San Francisco?

TEAM BALTIMORE: Hairspray, Kiss Me Kate, Cry-Baby (PLUS: support from Funny Girl which only has scenes in Baltimore)

• First Team: Hairspray's Tracy Turnblad (Quarterback), Edna Turnblad (she can block ANYTHING), Motormouth Maybelle, Seaweed J. Stubbs, Penny Pingleton, Link Larkin; Kiss Me Kate's Fred Graham, Lilli Vanessi, Lois Lane, Bill Calhoun; and Funny Girl's Fanny Brice
• Second String: Hairspray's Wilbur Turnblad, Corny Collins; Kiss Me Kate's First Man, Second Man; Funny Girl's Nick Arnstein, Mrs. Brice; Cry-Baby's Wade "Cry Baby" Walker, Allison, Dupree
• Special Teams: Hairspray's Little Inez, Fender, Sketch and IQ (the names say it all!); Cry-Baby's Baldwin and the Whiffles
• Coaching Staff: Jack O'Brien (Head Coach), Jerry Mitchell, Mark Brokaw, Rob Ashford, Garson Kanin, Carol Haney, Cole Porter, Scott Wittman, Marc Shaiman, Thomas Meehan, Mark O'Donnell, Bella and Sam Spewack

TEAM SAN FRANCISCO: Flower Drum Song, Sly Fox, The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial, I Remember Mama (PLUS: support from The Most Happy Fella which only has scenes in San Francisco)

• First Team: Flower Drum Song's Mei-Li, Ta, Linda Low; Sly Fox's Simon Able, Abner Truckle; The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial's Lt. Comm. Queeg, Lt. Comm. Challee, Lt. Greenwald, I Remember Mama's Mama, Papa; and The Most Happy Fella's Tony
• Second Team: Flower Drum Song's Wang, Chin; I Remember Mama's Uncle Chris, Katrine;  The Most Happy Fella's Rosabella, Cleo, Herman; Sly Fox's Mrs. Truckle, Miss Fancy
• Special Teams: Sly Fox's Jethro Crouch; I Remember Mama's The Aunts; The Most Happy Fella's Giuseppi, Pasquale, Clem, Al and Jake
• Coaching Staff: Gene Kelly (Head Coach), Joseph Anthony, Charles Laughton, Arthur Penn, Oscar Hammerstein II, Richard Rodgers, Larry Gelbart, Herman Wouk, John Van Druten, Frank Loesser

THE BIG GAME:

1ST QUARTER:
Play Sequence 1: Shows that ran more than 100 up to 500 performances (1 point each): SAN F
BALT: 1          SAN F: 19
Play Sequence 2: Shows that ran more than 500 up to 999 performances (2 points each): TIE
BALT: 6          SAN F: 6
Play Sequence 3: Shows that ran more than 1000 performances (5 points each): BALT
BALT: 15        SAN F: 0

2ND QUARTER:
Play Sequence 1: Number of revivals (1 point each): SAN F
BALT: 3          SAN F: 15
Play 2: Number of plays that take place in their city (2 points each): SAN F
BALT: 10          SAN F: 64
Play 3: Number of musicals that take place in their city (3  points each): SAN F
BALT: 18          SAN F: 30

HALF TIME:        BALT: 53          SAN F: 134

3RD QUARTER:
Play Sequence 1: Tony Nomination: Creative (2 points each): BALT
BALT: 10      SAN F: 8
Play Sequence 2: Tony Nomination: Writing and Direction (3 points each): SAN F
BALT: 24      SAN F: 33
Play Sequence 3: Tony Nomination: Acting (4 points each): BALT
BALT: 36      SAN F: 48
Play Sequence 4: Tony Nomination: Best Play, Best Musical or Best Revival (5 points each): SAN F
BALT: 10      SAN F: 25

4TH QUARTER:
Play Sequence 1: Winner: Theatre World Award (2 points each): SAN F
BALT: 4        SAN F: 10
Play Sequence 2: Winner: Creative Tonys (7 points each): BALT
BALT: 28      SAN F: 0
Play Sequence 3: Winner: Tonys for Writing and Direction (7 points each): BALT
BALT: 49      SAN F: 7
Play Sequence 4: Winner: Tonys for Acting (7 points each): SAN F

BALT: 35      SAN F: 14

Play Sequence 5: Winner Tonys for Best Play, Best Musical or Best Revival (20 points each): BALT
BALT: 40      SAN F: 0

FINAL SCORE:  BALT: 289         SAN F: 279

Phew!  That was a CLOSE one!  At first, San Francisco was pounding Baltimore.  And they should have - there are almost 4 times as many shows that take place in San Francisco as there are in Baltimore.  But Charm City came back strong in the second half, outscoring the City by the Bay 5 to 1!

Jeff
4.154