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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Survivor: Broadway

There was a time when the reality show Survivor was new and actually interesting.  I don't watch it anymore, but this season's version caught my eye, and I'll bet you'll know why immediately.

 
This season it is called... Survivor: South Pacific.

 

 
So, immediately my mind went to that weird fantasy place it goes to when I'm bored at work and I daydream of Broadway.  Imagine, if you will, the characters in Rodgers and Hammerstein's South Pacific.  They are the first cast of Survivor: Broadway.

 
  • The motto: "Out Sing.  Out Dance.  Out Act."  The location: Bali Hai (really, what else could it be?). 
  • The two tribes: Team Forbush vs Team de Becque.

 
The Tribe Leaders share a moment
The "Pretty Girls," the "Eye Candy," the "Smart Guy"

 
  • 9 team members per tribe: 1 natural leader (always cut when the team needs him/her the most), 1 villain (so close to winning, but found out just in time). 1 elder (offers great advice, everyone loves him/her, but he/she can't keep up in the challenges), 1 funny guy or bookish, quiet guy (if he/she can get a decent alliance, he/she could win), 2 male eye candy/musclemen (to be shirtless, look good sweaty and to justify the physical challenges), 2 female "babes"/pretty girls (to be catty in those solo confessional segments, to look good in a bikini top and panties, and to squirm in the inevitable mud pit or to be squeamish during a bug eating contest).

 
A tropical setting...

 
...a pretty, exotic young woman...

 
...and a shirtless guy.
Just another episode of Survivor: Broadway!

 
TEAM FORBUSH:
  • Leader: Ensign Nellie Forbush
  • Villain: Captain George Brackett
  • Elder: Commander William Harbison
  • Funny Guy: Luther Billis
  • 2 Male Eye Candy: Radio Operator Robert McCaffery, Lt. Buzz Adams
  • 2 Female Eye Candy: Ensign Dinah Murphy, Ensign Janet MacGregor

 

 
These things happen when the tribes merge!

 
TEAM de BECQUE:
  • Leader: Lt. Joseph Cable  
  • Villain: Bloody Mary
  • Elder: Emile de Becque
  • Bookish Guy: The Professor
  • 2 Male Eye Candy: Seabee Billy Whitmore, Lt. Eustis Carmichael
  • 2 Female Eye Candy: Liat, Ensign Cora MacRae

 
The Physical Challenge: "Long Distance Beach Run...

 
... and Military Formation"

 
THE CHALLENGES:
  • Long Distance Beach Running and Military Formation: a test of endurance and mental strength

 

 
"Build a Working Laundry"
  • Build a Working Laundry:  a test of teamwork, logic and problem-solving, with just enough brains needed to make it work
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

 
"The Towel Snap and Hair Dry Relay"

 
Looks like Team Forbush won this challenge!
  • Towel Snapping and Hair Drying: a relay race under odd conditions

 
Team Forbush wins again
  • The Let's Put On A Show Challenge: of course!

 

 
Next Season: Survivor: Broadway All Stars Team Tevye vs Team Mama Rose!  The greatest characters in musical theatre history go head to head in the remote junkyard of Cats!

 
Photos from the Lincoln Center Theatre production of South Pacific; the Original Broadway Cast, the final Broadway Company, and the First National Tour.

 

 
Rate this silliness below, leave your comments here, by email at jkstheatrescene@yahoo.com, or Tweet me!
Jeff
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